Untitled I

I'm feeling very restless now.
I don't know why...maybe I'm worried about you.
I'm worried about my studies as well...
It feels like I'm literally flunking the subject already.
Though I haven't actually sat for the exam yet, but it feels that way.
How am I suppose to sit for it?
I'm so unprepared.
I've read through it, but seems like nothing went inside my mind.
What is happening to me?
It's as though my mind is blank!
It's kinda freaky in a way...
Lost of confidence in the finals...
Sigh...
I'm not feeling that good (not sick though)
Perhaps a bit upset.
Perhaps I shouldn't put much hope...
Really...perhaps...in case I get disappointed...
Yeah...maybe it should be that way...

I just shouldn't be too nice sometimes...

Finale ?

Finals in a few days time...

I would say that I'm not entirely prepared to face it.

I've kinda lost my aim in the midst of all the controversy

Furthermore, what the lecturer wasn't exactly motivating...

Sigh...

I got a bad feeling about this!!!

Sigh...

Let's pray that I'll do well and pass the subject.

*PRAY*
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This is really gonna be my last semester here in Inti. Though flunking Micro might need me to stay back for another semester but I don't really plan to do so. At most, I'll just take the sub overseas. Oh well, it's gonna be like...a real FINALE for me after staying in this deserted jungle for..mmm...3 years? Gosh! It's been a long journey...

I'm seriously gonna miss everything in Inti. Though I always complain about them but there are things that are worth missing too. ...

I shall talk about it nextime. Take care people!

Surprise!!!

Surprise!!!!!

Everyone loves surprise, don't they? Especially when you are so sure that no one is gonna celebrate your birthday for you. One step through the door and out they come with a birthday cake and a party, just for you. What a pleasant surprise!

There are surprises that are not that pleasant too. Where you'll actually find yourself in deep shit. A very good one is where you get back your results. You were totally expecting 4 flats, but who know, it came out that you not only didn't get 4 flat, but 4 F!!! So, that's pretty hard to take isn't it?

No doubt that I love surprise very much. Especially during birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and maybe just random surprises. There were times that I look forward to all these so much, and I kinda ended up being disappointed. It's pretty much my own fault for expecting too much, so I've learned my lesson and wouldn't be so stupid anymore....but I still LOVE PLEASANT SURPRISES!

Recently, I would say that it's just not my days and I've been given more than enough surprises. It rather sad and hurting. I'm glad that it wasn't from piggy. *Thank God* I always wonder, how can a person hurt someone so much that it has already reach the limit, the point of no return. Apart from that, lies and many more lies have been told just to get out of deep shit? Is it suppose to work this way? NO! It's not! The more you tell, the more it lands you in deep shit. You totally deserve it! I have no pity on you sometimes...seriously, what's there to pity?

A surprise for someone turn out to be a disaster for yourself. Hahahahahaha!!!! Great surprise for you!!!!

Once again...

Once again, I'm being hit by the truth...
Once again, I need to go thru the pain...

There's so much repetitive mistakes and stupidity. How can that happen?
Sigh, it's just so saddening to see this happening all over again. I would say that I'm pretty fed up with it, but what can I do? I have no say in this matter, so...it's just up to the fellas to make their decision. To be honest, if I was given a chance, I wouldn't want this happening to me or to others that are facing or already went thru with it. Why can't things just be less complicated huh?

It's gonna be a short post. There's so much to talk about, but today is just not the day...Sorry folks.

I'm missing my pig... =(

I can't pretend and I will not!

This is pretty random but it was being kept inside me for a really long time, so I might as well let it all out now...since I'm in the mood. ^^

Sometimes I do wonder if I'm being paranoid. Is she really such a threat to me? I can't be mad at her all the time, but I just can't stand the fakeness in her that really makes me wanna slap or curse her. People tend to fall prey to her all the time, trust me, I never knew that she was like that when I first knew her. She's really good at it! Since so much have happen, I think my judgment towards her will not be fair anymore. Whatever things she does, it seems to be a hatred to me.

There were much controversy over certain things these few months, and I'm thanking God that it's coming to an end in a few weeks time. Though I still fear of what may lie in the future, but I have no control of it.

Forgive her? Friends? Yeah...on the outer layer, we are indeed friends. Within us, we know very well that there is a wide gap between both of us. Saying that it's all over? Nah...it's all bullshit. If it's all over, she wouldn't have so much grudges over me. I can see and feel it in the way she look at me, so...She treat me differently from others, so what do you expect me to do? Sometimes it's just so hard for us to communicate that I would rather not talk. I can't pretend and I will not pretend. I just don't get it how can others still talk when there's already a gap there? Sigh...am I abnormal?

No doubt that I might still be angry with her. I still feel that she is being darn ridiculous with all her selfish reasons. I still feel that she doesn't have the right to control and know about other people's life. What's her problem? I seriously don't know and I don't understand as well.

Oh well, just a few more weeks and I'm done. I'm through with it...Take Care people~!

A Mr TeePot Tag

The person who tag you is?
Mr Tee Pot

What relationship of you with him/her?
Close Friends

Your 5 impressions towards him/her?
Funny, Chatty, Stimes Lame Joker, Good Listener, Great Friend

The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you?
'Fishing' right beside me and not get caught my teacher in class.

If he/she becomes your lover , you will?
=.= Funny...

If he/she becomes your enemy , you will?
=.= Even funnier...

If he/she becomes your lover , he/she has to improve on?
Err...not really sure, never really thought of it that way.

The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?
Hmm...bully him?

The overall impression to he/her is ...
Very nice person!

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
I have no idea. Each individual have his/her own point of views. Better to ask them.

The character for you for yourself is?
Kind? Quiet?(not exactly true)

On contrary , the character you hate of yourself is?
being to nice sometimes. Get bullied easily

The most ideal person you want to be is?
A successful person with a happy and loving family. ^^

For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
^^ *smile*

Ten people to tag :
1) Pig
2) Jiok Sin
3) Laura
4) Jared
5) Joann
6) Xianz
7) Ke Jun
8) Ai Jia
9) Chor Peng
10) Lizzie

Who is number 2 having relationship with?
No one yet. She's single and available! Very Nice and sweet girl!

Is number 3 a male or female?
Female

If number 7 and number 10 be together would it be a good thing?
Err...Not likely. They don't even know each other. It's gonna be pretty weird. =.=

How about number 5 and number 8?
=.= No way!

What is number 1 studying about?
Multimedia IT

When was the last time you had a chat with them?
Them? As in all? Can't exactly remember but Pig is just beside me. =)

Is number 4 a single?
Yeah! I think he's still...Are you?

Say something about number 2
She's one of my closest friends in Inti and she's the only one left after all our A-levels friends left. She's cute, humble, sweet, sometimes very noisy but fun, nice to chat with...etc...Overall, she's a really great friend and I'm so lucky to have her as my friend. Oh ya! She plays the Clarinet and Piano. Talented huh?!?!? Guys, she's still available, grab her before it's too late.. Muahahaha....

Borders Affair

My blogging mood just came back after reading some friends' blogs...especially Laura...^^

Well, let's not talk about what I've done throughout these few weeks, let's say about something general and random. The journey I'm taking now is not as smooth as it looks like, there are seriously very muddy and bumpy roads along the way, and somehow people get hurt and lessons are learned. I believe that the truth will reveal itself when the right time comes, so we shall not contemplate about what's gonna happen and what's gonna be the ending. We can't predict what will happen the next second, we wouldn't know what others are thinking as well...so let it be... I know it's hard to do so, but I'm trying to. =)

Yesterday I went to Time Square. Was suppose to wait for Pig to finish work but instead he finish early. Biing Wang came as well. Anyway, we went to Borders. The bookstore is one of the most comfy ones around. They have Starbucks inside it, so it's pretty relaxing. For the very first time, I fell so much in love with that place. It's as though I've step into this really relaxing place where I have no misery to think of and nothing to worry about. I felt so light. Yeah...that's the word. The music, the environment, the books...Aww...I just felt like I'm in paradise! I'm loving the books there. Why? "Buy 3 for 2"!!! It's so worth it!!! Gosh!! Seriously, I'm gonna get some books there once I have $$! Among the bookstores I've been too, MPH comes in second place. Popular are usually too crowded with people, so I don't really like it. Borders is seriously a nice place to chill. Call me Orang Kampung or what-so-ever, yesterday was the first time I step into Borders. =.= rite? Too bad for me then. I've always pass by that place but it looked so dead from outside so I never wanted to go in until yesterday, Pig said that it's a nice place...^^ And I totally agree with him!

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The semester is coming an end very soon. 2-3 more weeks and I'm done with Inti! My further studies to Aussie are still in the midst...so...can't really tell where I'm going at the moment. Somehow it's very confusing but I think I can handle it. People say that parents' duty is to bring their children up to be a useful person. Paying for the children's education is also a must. Well, perhaps half of it is true but I don't totally agree to that statement. This few years, I've met two person that told me the same thing(and they are friends), I don't really agree with both of you. Yes, parents are suppose to pay for our education, but have you all thought of how hard they earn to pay for it? Doesn't it pain you to see your parents working so hard? Yes, it's their duty but can't us, being their children be more understanding and not ask for more? Doesn't it pain you to see your parents getting more wrinkles day by day just thinking about how to get you through uni? Well, it pains me a lot. Every time I think about my tuition fees, think about parents needing to pay such a lump sum, my heart aches a lot.

For all the reasons, I never wanted to fail a single subject because my parents need to pay extra! For once in my college and uni life, last semester was the first time I failed a subject in Finals. It brought me a lot of pain and I got through it silently. I have no one to blame but myself for not being able to juggle between my studies and other things. I don't want to mention what things that were bothering me but I guess those were involved should know. I don't come from a rich family, so financial support matters a lot to me when it comes to oversea education. No matter how much I would love to go to Aussie, I have to think of my family as well...Oh well...the future is undetermined yet, so let's hope for the best.

It feels so much better writing it all out. So far, I haven't actually got any reply from any Aussie Unis yet, so let's see how things go. I just hope that things will go smoothly. ^^ *Optimistic*

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Gonna get back to my studies now...Till nextime people.

Updates to be delay...

Wow~! It's been some time since I updated my blog. Gonna be almost a month the next sunday. Sigh, just kinda lost the mood to blog these days. Sorry people.

So...the pass-almost-one-month, I was pretty much enjoying myself.

I would really love to update you guys with all the things I've done but I have to prepare for my test next Tues, so after Tuesday I'll update k?

Have a nice day people...!