Fear,Lost,Disappointed

For once
I'm scared
Not about studies
Not about financial
Not about relationship
Not about friendship
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I'm lost for a moment
I don't know how to solve it
I don't know if I should even interfere
I don't know what will happen next
I don't know what I shoud expect
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I'm disappointed
in you
in everything you've done
in the lies you've told
in your dishonesty
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Sigh...what a night.

Missed

Looking back at certain things in life, just realized that how much I've missed.

Not coming back home during the weekends, means less time spent with my family. Mum told me today that she miss me a lot when I'm not around; can't imagine how would it be when I'm overseas next year. I bet dad feels the same way as well. This semester, I've been busy and there are a lot of things happening...just didn't feel like going home. Perhaps I've played too much, or perhaps I'm being naughty. Though it's kinda true that I don't have much freedom at home but it's still home. The warmth in it is just...so...homely, cosy...and...warm. No matter what, your family will stand by you through thick and thin...I HEART my family. Thank you for everything...

My dogs...Sigh. The sight of seeing them becoming all infested by ticks, it hurts me. Mum did took care of them, just that...somehow they got infected. Finally sprayed chemicals on them and bathed them as well. Piggy's one was really effective, most kinda dried and die off. Now, both Cassie and Sox @ Short Short smells nice.^^

Since many things happen few months back, I've lost(well, not exactly lost) and gain friends. I manage to see who are true friends and who are not. I'll learn from mistakes, that's for sure. I'm sorry that I didn't spend much time with you gals for the pass few months...perhaps it's already too late now, but I'll see you all/some in the coming few days e.g. Wen n Jiok. Not forgetting Gie...thanks you gals for standing by me all this time despite the 'lack of communication' between us...There are others as well...which I know in my heart, that will be good friends. =) Thank you piggy for standing by my side...=)
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I'm just glad that it's over now (at least I hope so)... Have a nice day people.

Pig-ging?

Basically, my holidays officially started on the 15th, a day after finals. But to be more 'official' and precise of the meaning of holidays - where I can actually relax at home, it only started last weekend. After much hassle, finally things are starting to settle down.

I heart pig-ging

Definition of pig-ging by Kuen:
Being able to sleep. The urge to sleep after each meal and being able to do so.

Just copy and paste the definition to pig and he said that he's not like that. Well, in fact, he's not. But I AM!!! Gosh!! I feel so sleepy after each meal! Perhaps too much carbohydrates or sthing. Hmph! That's so not good. Well, I don't actually pig...just have the feeling. You know, it's like paradise where you have nothing to worry about and living life to the fullest. Okay, it's not actually living life to the fullest...just that the feeling is there. Hmm...I'm weird huh?!?

Anyway, I manage to met up with Siao Chui, PuiMun, Hao Ying and Kar How that day. It has been ages since we last met. Siao Chui is currently undergoing teacher's training in Pahang; PuiMun in local U...mm...UPM I think, doing Stats if I'm not mistaken; Hao Ying in Inti doing BA - I see her around sometimes and she'll be calling 'Bear bear!!!' *lol*; and Kar How, all this while I thought he was in London, but actually he's just in MMU. =.= Kar How changed. Hmm...more well build? He looks bigger that high school days. All of the gurls looks pretty and thinner. Hmm..I'm feeling bad now cuz I'm like the only one putting on weight. Gosh~! I should seriously take the initiative to slim down!!!!!



Few days ago, Piggy was at my place. He came down and cooked spaghetti for us! Yummy!! Delicious!! Too bad, I didn't take a pic of him cooking. We fetch Yit from school that 2 days and that fella was so happy about it. (No need to take bus mer...) Oh ya! I made pudding!!! Lychee pudding~! We went to Pasar Malam near my place on Tuesday evening. Bought some food and pig met his friend there. Wow~!! That guy's from KB if i'm not mistaken and you see him in S'ban. Surprising. Anyway...after dinner, piggy went home...=(

***********

My semester result came out on Tuesday. Hmm...It was as expected I would say. Though I'm a bit disappointed but I'm over it. Sigh.

Few more days till the next semester starts. Sigh. What's a short break. I should be taking Immunology next sem as my elective, only one subject left before I actually fly off. Hopefully the b*tch will allow me to take her subject overseas. Don't feel like seeing her anymore...her sarcasm is just freaking irritating sometimes. Sigh...so demotivating.

***********

I went for my first driving lesson this morning. Err...it was kinda freaky. Driving in the school was okay, no prob. But coming out to the main road is like...Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Lol. I didn't expect the Uncle to let me drive in the main road so fast...=S. What's more when it's like...the main main road where there's a lot of cars! Gosh! Anyway, I drove all the way home... and I'm in one piece. I guess I kinda enjoyed it in the end. I'm like the slowest to get my driver's license...haiz...sobs...so embarassing.

That's all for now~
Signing off...

Piggy story II

Here comes the continuation from last post...

I had a wonderful 20th birthday this year. Though there were no parties or what-so-ever grand thingy, but I would say that this is quite a memorable one.
First of all, my birthday is on the 20th of Aug 2008, which makes it 20/08/2008. What's more when it's my 20th birthday~Hehe...CAn't really believe that I'm already 20 this year, time seems to fly by so quickly.
I got a lot of wishes from my friend and family, thank you very much. I appreciate it a lot.

Matt @ Piggy brought me out for dinner at TGIF on the 19th nite. It was really nice and sweet of him. ^^ It was my first time there, I've always wanted to celebrate birthday or have dinner at places like this. *Hugs piggy* The atmosphere was just nice, though they were showing Olympics. Well, as long as you spend time with your loved ones, no matter where you are, what you do, you'll be happy. We ordered set dinner with appetizer, entree and dessert.

The waitress was nice enough to take pictures for us. *Thanx* I had a great time there...really...I l ove it!


When the clock strikes 12, I received phone calls from friends. Laura!! Haha...u were the first, then comes soo ann...then my brother. Guess what happen? My parents forgot even though they called. =.= Then i kinda hinted my mum, only she realized it has already passed 12! Lol. Dad sang birthday song to me through the phone, so cute of him! Hehe...first time spending birthday eve with piggy! I got messages, testimonials on both friendster and facebookl..thanks people. ^^

*More pics in facebook*

The food was delicious~~~ dessert was...hmm...yumyum! We headed home(pig's place) after chilling awhile there. Then pig send me back to hostel in the morning to pack my bags to go home home. Haha...my bags were too heavy and pig had to come up to get it for me. *Thx & Sry* Dad wanted to fetch me but he was busy with some stuffs, so piggy send me home. Hehe...first time coming to my place. Lol. Well, we chilled awhile at my place then went out again with my brother. The guys had their gaming session until time to meet up with my besties ~ Sue and Mridula. Sue and ChorWai got me a bag whereas Mridula got me a Bear (Chocolate Bear) Awww...so cute! We had cakes in Secret Recipe then had dinner at Dragon Palace with my parents. *Too Bad ChorWai is not around...haiz...*After that, we headed back home to cut the cake. Dad bought me a Winnie the Pooh Cake! Lol! Its adorable^^. Dad said that I'm forever a kid in his heart. =)

5 of us went out again to yumcha at Roy's. Piggy stayed over for the nite.

Wen and Jiok came to visit on the next day so we met them up at Jusco. Went for Wall-E together and had dinner at the fish head mihun place. ^^


Bro, XueNeng, Jiok, Wen, Me and Matt

Xue Neng was there was as well. We went to pick him up on the way. Wen and Jiok got me something really...err...unexpected. Haha...a dustbin. A CUTE one! Lol. It was nice meeting up with them before Wen leave. Piggy went home that nite but he came back on Friday . =)

Another bunch of my friends celebrated with me at Kensington. Though it has already pass my birthday. It has been a long time since I actually met up with all of them. Aiks. There were some shocking news but it's alright. I had a great time with them. ^^




So...That's about it for the 20th Birthday...Hehe...I'm happy, lucky, feeling loved...awww...indescribable feeling.

Heart my family and my piggy

Piggy story I

Hi peeps~!!

It's been a long long time since I blogged. So..here are some updates.

Guess what? Piggy brought me to the Malaysia International Firework Competition at Putrajaya on Saturday(16/8). Hehe... It was Team China presenting "Niu Lang and Weaver girl". I would say that they did a great job! It was spectacular and really breathtaking! Beautiful~~~~!!! There were many people there and most of them were well prepared with their cameras and videocams. Ah well! Me and Piggy were just there to enjoy so we didn't prepare anything. Took some pictures though. ^^ The sunset that day was really nice as well. The sun was huge! Manage to take a pic of it, but not so nice.

Putrajaya in the evening

Sunset Putrajaya at nite

We went to Poppy after that to meet up with Piggy's ex-classmates and some of their colleagues. Poppy is nice~~~!!!!!! Too bad, I'm underage. Lol. Since they booked VIP, so I was allowed to go in. Haha. *thank you* The company was nice, the music was really nice...but the cons of Poppy is that- it's too packed! You basically need to squeeze yourself through in order to go to the dance floor. Piggy and I danced awhile during the last hour and we went back to the seats. Met some of my classmates there though. Was kinda surprised to see them...Anyway, after that, we went for YumCha at some Mamak nearby. Chatted a bit with each other. Then we left for home.

******
I'm addicted to 'Word Challenge'. Well, I was more addicted previously but after finals it was lesser, but still it's addictive. Haha.

***********

Okay...Monday(18/8). Followed Piggy around the whole day until dinner time, we went to Subang with a bunch of friends to have Steamboat. Yummy!!!! It was very filling! ^^ Then we met up with Laura. Picked her up then went to Asia Cafe. Hmm...memorable place! Haven't been there for ages. I remember the first time there was to visit Ms. Lai - A-levels Chemistry lecturer.

************
More updates tomorrow...

Yeah~! =)

YEAH!!!

It's OVER....soon~!!!!!

About one and a half hour I'll be in RC3 sitting for the last paper....

About 3 and a half hours, I'll be FREE~!!!!!!!!!!!

'I'm like a bird....lalalalalala'

*Blek*

A bit sot sot from all the studies and stress...

Almost over

I am disappointed.

How should I put this? I don't mind making it up to me some other time but it's just...mm...I don't know. I understand but I do feel that there are some other reasons behind all this. It just feels not right. Oh well...you guys made the decision...can't change anything.
I'm glad that there are still people that can see what's actually happening. Thank god! At least they are not blinded by the manipulations and stuffs. ^^

When I'm saturated with Micro at Piggy's place...I did this:

*notes, text & stationaries*

and this...

*look familiar piggy?*

and...

finals is almost over. ^^

I can't wait for it to be over~~!!!!!!

Good Luck people!!!

Isolated or Isolating?

WTH?!?!

I'm isolationg myself?
Do you even know what the hell I'm going through?!?!
I'm doing all these things just to make you feel better and now, you're saying that I'm isolating myself for the group. Yeah, perhaps I am. Why? Cuz it's hard to be around you when you don't talk to me. Others seems to be the same as well. I don't know what happened but somehow, I admit that I drifted apart from you guys.

Thinking of how pathetic it is, You seem to be turning things around and making me feel like an idiot. I drifted apart from the group because of you. You didn't wanna talk to me, so fine, I walkaway; You don't wanna be around us when we are together, fine, i only join u guys when we are not together. So what do you expect?!?!? I tried freaking hard trying to talk to you for the pass few weeks but you just didn't really bother. Ok, fine...I UNDERSTAND! Then, now...he called you and you said it seems like i'm isolating myself from the group?!?!?

Whatever la...

I don't know what you've been telling people. What you've been publicising about...I don't wanna bother. Sometimes I just don't understand why I need to tell you guys everything whereas you all just shoosh me off?
For this whole period of time == Where you guys went, where you guys ate, where you guys clubbed, What you guys did, I didn't know. You guys didn't ask me for anything, to eat or what, so is this considered as me isolating myself or you guys isolating me?!?!? huh?
It's just damn ridiculous to hear what i'm hearing. You ppl went to MoS and I didn't know about it until I heard it from someone else...Wow! Big news man! *sarcasm* So, what are you trying to do? Trying to get back on me? Trying to make me feel how you felt? So sorry to say that, I don't feel the same way. I don't need people reporting to me what they've done. I won't ask unless you're telling me willingly. So...your plan failed.

So...this time, you said I could have said something regarding I's stuff. Well, I don't know if I should tell you cuz you guys would be thinking otherwise, like how things got so bad the last time I told you about IT. I don't see the need to telling. I told you I already have plans. That's it, full-stop. The more you ask, the more you know, the more you get offended or you get hurt. He's going, that's why I'm not saying anything since things are SOOOO COMPLICATED between you and him. Whatever...think what you wanna think. Do what you wanna do...I'm out of it!

I'm fed up with all this crap.

What are you trying to prove?

Just another way for procrastination - - - blog

Met a friend just now and realized about certain things.

I don't understand why you are manipulating things around and saying things that are not really true. Perhaps I'm wrong or what-so-ever, but I seriously think that you are being very childish. He's been making effort to patch things up but somehow you are not giving him a chances. So what's there to complain about? What's there to talk about...? What say that he's not making initiatives? Huh?!?

You're not exactly talking to either of us. Perhaps you need time or so...I understand. I don't expect this to end that fast, but...is it worth it?

Best friends should understand each other. They don't get angry with each other over petty stuff like. Okay...maybe it's something big. But...have you thought of the reasons why we are doing this? why such actions are taken? Can't you just be more understanding? I've been true the same thing, but I wasn't pissed. I was a bit shock but I'm okay with it. I didn't got to know it from her as well, I found out from someone else and what's more when that someone is being freaking sarcastic to me...So...Getting pissed for so looooong is just not worth while. That's my opinion. Different people have different view, so I just hope things will resolve soon.

But...somehow I feel that you are trying to turn people against me or maybe us. If you are so concerned about what's happening, why not you just tell me in the face? What are you trying to hide? I don't mind getting to know more things... Just don't manipulate things around. I don't like that...

I've taken my step to talk, but if you're not willing to take a step back...i have nothing to say. I've done what I have to do. I'm not at fault and I have no responsibility to report to you on whatever shit I'm doing. I'm happy and contented with life. If you're not...that's your prob. Stop ruining other people's life. What are you trying to prove?

~~~~~~









Feeeling better now....

珊瑚海

Shan Hu Hai
珊瑚海
词：方文山 曲：周杰伦
演唱：周杰伦&Lara

海平面远方开始阴霾
悲伤要怎么平定纯白
我的脸上 始终夹带
一抹浅浅的无奈
你用唇語說你要離開
（心不在）
那難過无声慢了下來
洶湧潮水 你听明白
不是浪而是泪海
转身离开 分手（你有话）说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱 只是一场意外
我们的爱（给的爱） 差异一直存在（回不来）
风中尘埃（等待） 竟累积成伤害
转身离开 分手说不出来
蔚蓝的珊瑚海 错过瞬间苍白
当初彼此 不够成熟坦白 （不应该）
热情不在（你的） 笑容勉強不來
愛深埋珊瑚海

毀壞的沙碉如果重來
有裂痕的愛怎麽重改
只是一切 结束太快 你说你無法釋懷
貝殼裏隱藏什麽期待 （等花儿开）
我們也已經無心在猜
面向海風 （面向海風）
淺淺的愛 （浅浅的爱）
猜不出還有未來
转身离开 分手（你有话）说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱 只是一场意外
我们的爱（给的爱） 差异一直存在 （回不来）
风中尘埃（等待） 竟累积成伤害
转身离开 分手说不出来
蔚蓝的珊瑚海 错过瞬间苍白
当初彼此 不够成熟坦白 （不应该）
热情不在（你的） 笑容勉強不來 爱深埋珊瑚海

After so many years, I still don't really get the meaning of this song. I know it's a sad song, but somehow I just don't seem to get it. Someone told me about this song indirectly and saying it to me.Whenever this song is played or sung, it just reminds me of those days. It used to pains me but now...it's just another song that makes me reminisce about the past.

SeVeN 7

7 facts about me:-
* wear specs or contacts
* fat/fleshy/plump...whatever words you wanna use to describe
* loves sleeping
* likes to blast music whenever I have the chance
* seems to like clubbing =.=
* wants to earn more in the future to satisfy my own needs
* loves chilli @ spicy

7 things that scare me:-
* darkness
* results of thinking too much
* Biochemistry
* forgetfulness
* squashed animals on the road
* horror movies
* cats

7 songs playing in my mind:-
* Stay Beautiful by Taylor Swift
* What You Got by Colby O'donis ft Akon
* Bye Bye by Mariah Carey
* 擦肩而过 by 李圣杰
* Heartbreaker by Will.I.Am
* 最近还好吗 by S.H.E.
* Take a Bow by Rihanna

7 valuable things in my life:
* family
* health
* friends
* him
* music
* photos
* memories

7 'first times' in my life:-
* went to Australia --- 6 yrs old
* appendix operation -- 9 yrs old
* expressed class to std five -- 9 yrs old
* performance on the stage -- 6 yrs old
* first handphone --- End of Form 3. and I lost the phone after less than 48 hours.
* played a flute -- 13 yrs old
* relationship -- form 4

7 words/things I always say/use:-
* Walao...
* Whatever la...
* Love ya!
* Muackz...
* Pig/Piggy
* Monkay!
* Shit!


7 friends that I wanna tag:-
* Laura
* Jiok
* Jared
* others...whoever who loves doing quizzes.